Better Late Than Never….

Posted in Kinky Stuff with tags , , , on November 2, 2008 by mikayla1

OK, OK, I know….I am late reporting this post.  However, it is not my fault.  Truly.  Last Saturday was supposed to be super sex Saturday, but my hubby and my 2 sons ended up getting sick.  No sex on super sickness Saturday.  So, last night everyone was allll better and I got my some hot cock!

I began the night by drinking some lovely Leinenkugel Berryweiss beers (if you haven’t tried, you MUST, they are delicious and addicting!) and getting a nice buzz I was ready to get my freak on!  We sat on the couch watching some television while my hubby rubbed my feet and I drank my beer.  It was sooo relaxing and nice.  We haven’t had time to do that for a while.

I was getting really buzzed and very horny, so I decided to jump on his lap.  I began grinding against him and giving some nice, long kisses!  He was rock hard the instant I started grinding…it was wonderful to be getting together.  He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.  My shirt was off and my bra pulled down in seconds as he ravished my tits.  Ohhhh, I love the feeling of nipple pulling.  I was already so incredibly wet and ready.

I pushed him over and got on top - grinding my hips into him and enjoying him grabbing and pulling hard on my breasts.  I was so hot but I wanted to make it last, so I rolled off him and brought him down to kiss me.  Whispering dirty nothings into his ear, while blowing and sucking on his earlobes!  He was groaning and expressing his excitement level.  His hands began to go south to my stomach, then my thighs, then between my legs.  He commented on the wetness that was soaking through my pj bottoms!  Of course I was wet, it had been a while.

He got up and took down my pj bottoms and pantied in one swoop and then parted my legs, asking me nicely and sweetly to keep my legs open wide.  I am a sucker for any kind of dirty talk, so I obliged happily.  He took his time teasing me, pulling on my pussy lips, running a finger up my wet slit.  I was sooooo hot and ready to cum, but he said ‘no.’  We don’t play orgam delay often, so it was good to hear him taking control.

He ordered me onto my hands and knees and told me to put my face down in the bed.  I did as I was commanded.  He got behind me on the bed and spread my legs a little more.  I was dripping - I mean DRIPPING wet. He ran his palm and fingers gently over my exposed and freshly shaven pussy.  I was groaning into the pillow.  It was heavenly.  He slapped my pussy (OH HOW I LOVE THE PUSSY SLAPPING) and then ran his palm over my clit.  Oh God did I want to cum!  He got underneath my pussy with his face and began to lick and suckle on me.  It was pure heaven!!!

He did’t keep on that too long before I was begging to cum!  BEG-GING!!!  He said ‘no’ - he wanted me to wait.  He got up and went to our toy drawer.  I heard him plug something in - then I heard the telltale hum of the Hitatchi wand!  Oh shit!  I don’t know how some of my fellow bloggers handle not cumming with a Hitatchi wand, so I was scared.  My hubby got behind me again and started slapping my pussy with the wand.  Oh God I need to CUM!  I was spreading my legs, bucking my hips and just plain dying to release.  He was teasing my already swollen clit with the Hitatchi and I was dying.  It felt soooo good.  He would bring me to the brink, then back off - back to the brink, back off.  It was excruciatingly pleasurable!

Knowing I was reaching my limit, he stopped all together.  He got in front of me and presented his hard cock to me, demanding me to ’suck it.’  I eagerly took his cock in my mouth and began to suck and lick and pull on him.  He was groaning and moaning.  Still on my hands and knees, my pussy was wet and open and throbbing.  All I wanted was to touch my clit while I was sucking his cock.

I did my best tricks - the deepthroat, special 8, suck and blow, penis puppeteer - I was all over his cock.  I wanted him to pound me to blissful orgasm - BAD.  He was getting too excited so he asked me to stop for a while.  He told me to get on my back.  I lay there as he kissed me and I could taste myself on his tongue - OH SO HOT!  He ran his hand between my legs, pulling on my lips, slapping my pussy, inserting a few fingers.  He knew I was getting way too hot so he told me I could cum.  THANK FUCKING GOD!  I opened my legs wide, spread my pussy for him and he slapped me to a massive orgasm and before I could come down, he got between my legs and licked me to another few orgasms.  DAMN IT WAS GOOD!

I was ready to be fucked, so I jumped up on his cock and rode him reverse cowgirl, as he grabbed my tits from behind me, then pushed me down.  He loves to wath his cock slide in and out of me.  As I did this I felt pressure on my asshole.  He was lubing up one of our favorite dildos (we have a bunch stashed in the nightstand) and was gently inserting it.  OH GOD, I came immediately. 

When the dildo was in my ass, he asked me to assume doggy position.  I did willingly and he inserted his cock again into my pussy with the dildo in my ass and continued pounding me in hot DP action.  I came and came and came until my pussy was clenched so hard I thought he would pop out.  He withdrew the dildo and motioned for me to get on my back.  Taking my legs and loving them up by my head, he fucked me hard and told me to finger myself.  I happily agreed and came another few times.

Sensing he was getting close I held off my last orgasm until he came and we came together in literal orgasmic bliss!  It was uber hot and very much needed.  Tonight is repeat performance!!!

Oh how I love sex…LOVE, LOVE, LOVE SEX!!!

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It LIIIVVEESSS….

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags on October 21, 2008 by mikayla1

Yes, yes I know, I have been a very bad Mikayla.  I have not been here for I don’t know how long.  I am sorry for being gone.  Thanks to all my internet buds who have checked on me and worried.  I am OK.  I just had a series of ‘issues.’

First, our computer died.  Just up and died.  Had to try and rig something up.  In the meantime, I was using my Mom’s and well, it is not the place I want to type about getting fucked hard, ya know???

Second, my hubby is still out of work, therefore, I have been working extra hard.  I have picked up some tutoring jobs for extra cash, and am watching my nephew a few days a week. So, having 2 children around, again, no time to write about fuck fun.

Third, I have been sort of dispondent.  Not feeling like writing.  My hubby is having a hard time with being off work, and I have tried to be supportive…but it is hard.  I am a happy person at heart and he is really bringing me down.  I can only try for so long to help him get UP.  I know a few things about keeping a man happy in bed (or more than a few) but I don’t know how to bring one out of a major slump.

Speaking of a slump - it has been interesting keeping the sex interesting and fun.  We are still having sex - but it is sex - not fucking.  Don’t get me wrong, sex is sex is sex, but fucking is so much more fun.  I guess for most men (tell me guys if I am wrong here) it is really hard being the assertive, open your legs, suck my cock kind of guy when you feel like a loser.  Now, I am not calling my hubby a loser, but he feels like one by his own admission.  So, he hasn’t been in the fucking mood.  IN fact, we all know that stress is a major mood killer, but he has still been in the mood for sex, just not ‘forceful sex.’

You know what I am talking about…the kind of sex when you just get down and dirty, grabbing, groping, slamming each other…fucking great sex. 

So, I am gonna remedy this on the weekend.  On Saturday I am getting my hair colored - back to the blonde again - and I am sending my boys to their auntie’s for a while and I am gonna put on a brand new corset that my mastercard paid for - and seduce the shit out of my hubby! 

So thanks again for the worry emails and checking in on me - and I will post again after Saturday’s fuck fest!

Wish me luck!!!

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Hey Baby, can I borrow some SUGAR???

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , on September 19, 2008 by mikayla1

So, I may have mentioned that my new neigbors are a super hawt Lesbian couple (don’t know why I capitalize that) and they are really, really nice.  It has been interesting adjusting to having them there - kind of like a window to what could have been in my life.   I am a TOTALLY bi-sexual woman (I love women, everything about women and I had a longstanding relationship with a woman once) so…..when I see the two of them in their yard, coming and going, kissing, walking their dog holding hands, I can’t help but think……it COULD have been me with Mia (my ex girlfriend) living there.

Then, the reality hits me…I am MARRIED to a a MAN and I am happy!  Not only that, but I have two gorgeous children.  I am a ’suburban soccer MOMMY’ - wow…never would have seen my life going that way 16 years ago.  Oh well, our lives take different paths and God only knows if it is the right path but…..I think mine was for sure.

Anyhooooooo, my neighbors are pretty scarce, I barely see them.  However, this afternoon my doorbell rings and I go to answer it.  There is Miranda in a very, very, very short pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top holding a measuring cup.  She says, ‘Hi Neighbor, can I borrow some sugar???’

I stood there…literally staring at this poor woman.  Mind you, I am NOT wearing anything glamorous.  I have spaghetti-Os on my shirt from feeding my little one (or rather, helping him to feed himself), and I look like hell.  So I say, ‘oh sure, come on it’ - as if it isn’t bothering me that I look like shit and my hot lesbian neighbor is in my house.

She tells me that Rachel’s birthday is today and she was making her a surprise cake.  She apparently forgot sugar for the homemade frosting. While I go dig her up some powdered sugar, she plays with my little guy - all the while talking about how cute he is, how they want to have kids some day, how right now it is all about just ‘being together’ and someday they want kids.  Man, there was opportunity for discussion there….

She was in a hurry trying to get things finished for the surprise, so no time to talk - BUT she did invite me over for the party - but I had…of all things….a night soccer game.  Bummer, no hot lesbians for me.  However, I did assure her that I had plenty of sugar, if she ever wanted to come and borrow some more….

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My Big Redneck Fuck….

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , on September 7, 2008 by mikayla1

DISCLAIMER:  Some of the terms or names used in this post may be ‘offensive’ to some people.  It is not meant to offend, but offer humor.  Please take everything written in the manner intended - as a humorous replay of last night’s activities.

OK, so last night my hubby and I were watching some shows stored on our TIVO.  We have gotten into watching this show called My Big Redneck Wedding.  No, really.  For those of you who have not had the joy of watching this totally hilarious ‘reality’ show, let me give you a synopsis:

Two ‘redneck’ people are getting married.  You get to meet these love birds, see where they are having their weddin’, what they are serving, what they are wearing and what they are giving as gifts.  Some examples are:  wedding dresses made of camoflage - in fact, whole wedding parties dressed in camo.  Receptions held in Flea markets, food consisting of pigs in a blanket, pigs feet and Souse (yep, the bird food). One of the best ones was where this couple had a beer can archway and the bride lost her teeth the day of the wedding.  Or, the bride who wanted mud wrestling and mattress surfing (I have actually done this, it is fun!) for her entertainment.  The fact is, these people are rednecks, tacky and I doubt that the weddings are actually real - but it makes for fun entertainment.

So, last’s night’s Redneck Country Fest was set in the picturesque state of Tennessee.  The 18 year old Groom and 19 year old Bride were made for each other.  Bottle rocket fights at the bachelor party and an at home sex toy party for the bachelorette party.  Anyway, one of my favorite parts was when the cousin of the groom fell asleep at the party and they wrote ‘boob’ on his forehead.  When he woke up, they told him he had been ‘boobed’ and he kept saying ‘boobed?’ and in this thick, redneck accent it came out “Bah-ooo- B” - it had me rolling in my seat!  “Bah-ooo-B”!  Totally hilarious!

So, after our movie watching we retired to the bedroom and were fooling around. I got naked and he was sucking on my tit.  Out of nowhere my hubby says, “I just love sucking on your Bah-ooo-Bs!  I thought I was going to pee myself!  I started laughing and laughing and laughing and couldn’t stop.  I had to sit up, go to the bathroom and pee cause I was laughing so hard I was crying!

Note to all:  if you want to have a sexy night of fucking fun, don’t recount hilarious moments from the redneck fest you were watching, it may ruin the mood.

We did end up continuuing, but unfortunately the sexiness was replaced with silliness when we both continued using our Tennessee accents to say things….

” I want to suck your ‘cA-ockkk’

“I am going fuck you up your ‘arse’

“Suck my ‘Ba-ooooo-B’ baby”

Yes-ser-ee, we had ourselves a good old-fashioned redneck fuck last night….brings all new meaning to the phrase “Git-R-Done”

 

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Personal Whore….

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , , , , , on August 29, 2008 by mikayla1

As many of you know, I have been in a real funk.  I am sorry for that…..sorry in that I began downtrodden so much that I forgot my own personal rule:  sex is a commitment, sex is a necessity, sex is stress relief and sex is expected in a relationship.  I allowed myself to get sucked down into the vortex of depression and forgot to enjoy sex.  Oh, we have had sex, but it hasn’t been ‘good’ sex….well, not till last night.

Knowing that sex has become a short version of what it should be, I was bound and determined to NOT let it go on any longer.  I mean, sure we have lost a job, but did we loose our pussy or cock?  Did we loose our mouths?  Did we have our sex toys reposesed?  HELL NO!  So, last night I was ready for action…and action is what we had…

I took a nice, long shower.  I shaved every, single nook and cranny of my body from the armpit to the ankle.  I made sure I was super smooth and hairless everywhere that counted.  I used our massaging shower head and a dildo to make myself cum a few times.  Being too eager makes the first orgasm cum to quickly…and I wanted it to be a nice, long session.

I put on a new corset that I had bought before the ‘incident’ and felt super sexy in it.  It is a standard, lace up the back, cleavage busting out corset with black lace with pink hearts (abstract hearts) on it.  It has a matching thong and garters.  I put on the whole 9 yards, even some make-up, but I left my hair wet.  I lit candles and then called my hubby into the bedroom where I was perched, on my knees on the bed.  I had put on my eternity collar (that I admittedly have not worn in a long, long time) and when my hubby saw me, and hte room, and the toys, and me….he got an instant boner.  I motioned for him to come to the edge of the bed and when he got there I immediately started taking off his shirt.  Kissing down his chest, his ears (he loves that) and neck.  I moved closer to him so he could touch me if he wanted…and he wanted. 

His hands quickly found my tits and started rubbing and groping them.  I love the nipple rubbing and the pulling of my nipples.  I moaned quietly in his ear and took a little nibble.  My tits were practically out of the corset, but still properly restrained enough.  The tight corset holding me in - just barely - and adding that sexy tightness that I love so much.  My pussy was soooo wet already, and I just wanted him to bury his cock inside me…but not yet.  I am a greedy, greedy whore and I wanted it all.

I motioned for him to get up on the bed, he took down his jeans, revealing a large hard on under his boxers.  He now on his knees on the bed, I slunk down and took the hem of his boxers in my mouth and skillfully (yes, I believe this is a skill) took them down with only my mouth, while looking right into his eyes.  His cock sprang forth with strength and enthusiasm and I licked the tip of it before going back up to my knees to kiss him hard and fast on the mouth.  Our tongues doing that suggestive dance indicating exactly what we wanted to do to the other’s sacred spaces.

His cock was pressing against my thigh, so one quick adjustment and it was resting happily on my crotch.  I pulled myself closer to him and spread my legs a bit so his cock could brush against my barely covered snatch.  He took the bait and began to thrust against me - giving me just the slightest thrill and ache in my pulsating pussy.

He was quickly becoming extremely aroused, and pushed me back on the bed, taking my thong off in the quickest of motions, and spreading my legs wide. 

“oh baby, you are super smooth for me.  I am going to suck and pound that pussy good,” he said when he felt the smoothness that I purposely prepared for him.

This is the position I love - lying back with my legs spread apart, holding my ankles so my lover can see every inch of my private space, admiring, and desiring to be nestled in between my folds.  Love it.  Makes me feel like such a personal whore!

Now I am in sub mode.  Now I am no longer in control, I have relinguished that right and put myself in sex slave mode.  I am a willing and obedient whore - willingly waiting for his next move.  His move was to take a finger and start rubbing my clit while holding my pussy open wide.  I came.  God help me, I came instantly.  Oh how I missed this.  What the fuck is wrong with me that I would go THIS long without this bliss?????

That was all he needed in encouragement and he brought his cock to my waiting mouth.  Still moaning from the intensity of the orgasm I began to take his cock in my mouth.  Using just my tongue and mouth to bring him down my throat.  I took one hand and grabbed his balls, took the other and thrust him deep into my throat.  The groan he elicited was worth the effort - and it really was not too much effort, I have mad oral sex skills.

Fucking my mouth hard, while grabbing my tits and giving me an occassional, complimentary pussy grope was making me soooo hot.  I wanted his cock in my pussy and I wanted it now.  The need was urgent, but he had other plans.  Turning himself around, cock still in my mouth, he thrust my legs back and began to fuck my pussy with his mouth and fingers.  I came again.  I was gushing like a naive bride.

In the midst of my orgasmic bliss he had gotten a toy and I felt the cold thrill of one of my glass dildos entering my very wet pussy.  I love when he combines glass with oral - there is nothing like the smooth sensation of glass combined with the warm wetness of a skilled tongue!  Oh mamma!  He took himself out of my mouth and slid down between my legs, motioning me to spread my legs up and back.  I grabbed my thighs, took a deep breath and prepared.  My skilled hubby took that dildo and fucked me hard while playing tongue tag with my engorged clit until I began to squirt and gush in G-spot oragsms that left me shaking and weak.  Now he was ready to fuck me.

Lying on the bed, I could barely get up the strength to plop down on his rod - but I did.  Wet and ready I slid down on his cock as he sighed and commented on the tightness of my pussy around him.  I was still contracting and gushing and the sensation was wickedly fantastic.  I bounced up and down and was grinding my pussy hard against him.  I quickly began to cum AGAIN and my contractions started sending him into pre-orgasm mode.  He took my hips and guided my movements, taking time to place my bullet between my clit and his pubic arch.  I was in fucking heaven!  Orgasm after orgasm after orgasm until finally he gave it up and filled me with his hot, sticky cum!

I was in complete bliss…completely satisfied and just plain releived.  I have to reiterate, sex IS stress relief, sex IS fun, sex IS expected and I will neve forsake sex again!  Sex is free - and FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!! Don’t forget the sex….go have sex…RIGHT NOW……I am gonna have sex again….RIGHT NOW.

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The Girls Next Door…

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , on August 23, 2008 by mikayla1

Hello Blogging World!  I have surfaced from my funk long enough to depict a totally amazing event.  As much as I detest the idea of being ‘happy’ right now, when I truly feel like the walls are closing in around me, I would be remiss not to detail this very arousing experience….

So, the house next to us has been vacant for a while - at least a year since the old lady who lived there died.  Anyway, with the housing market in Chicago the way it is, the house has been sitting….waiting…beckoning for the ‘right’ owner(s).  We started seeing a bunch of people over there - going in and out, walking around.  Then we saw some contractors come in, siders, roofers.  It has been very busy over there.  THe old lady did nothing to update her house and now it is getting completely renovated. 

All the hustle and bustle has been interesting, but not as interesting as what happened last Thursday.  I was in the backyard with my boys and this moving van pulled up in the backyard.  A very attractive woman got out, looked around then unlocked the door.  The movers began moving things in and out.  Naturally, I was very curious as to whom was moving in exactly.  I wondered if the ‘hot chick’ was moving in.

The movers come and go and about an hour later a nice car pulls up in the driveway.  Another hot girl gets out of the car, and another…and ANOTHER.  I was wondering if our little neighborhood was being invaded by Playboy Bunnies or something.  Well, last night I FINALLY got to meet my new neighbors.  Rachel and Miranda - a very nice couple of girls in their mid 20s.  Apparently, they are ‘friends’ as they did not introduce themselves in any way that would indicate that they were ‘lovers.’

Well….sometimes introductions don’t do people justice I guess because these girls are DEFINITELY LESBIANS!  Oh yeah, they were sunning in the backyard today - in bikinis - and literally lathering themselves up with the suntan oil.  Their yard is surrounded by a privacy fence, as is ours, but the fence in between our yards is a white picket fence, so I can see them, they can see me.  There they are, out in their new backyard garden making out like no tomorrow!  Kissing, fondling, touching….it was hot already but these gals are HAWT!

They stopped long enough to say ‘hey neighbor’ to me…then they thought about it and stopped their affectionate touching.  Rachel got up and came to the fence.  She says, ‘well, I guess you can tell we are a ‘couple’ huh? I hopt it doesn’t offend you.’  I told them that I myself am a bi-sexual woman, but I am also a Mom of two curious boys, so it would probably be best if they reserved the REALLy intimate stuff for when my kids aren’t in the backyard. 

That was no problem for Rachel, as she understood completely.  However, I may have to tell them to pull their blinds because their bedroom window faces my kitchen window and when they went in, they got NEKKID and BUSY in the bedroom!  Damn those girls are hot and what I saw was something right out of Penthouse Forum!  Oh laa laa…I need to go take a shower cause those Girls Next Door have me creaming in my jeans…….

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When It Rains….

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , , on August 16, 2008 by mikayla1

OK, so I posted last week about feeling blah cause I lost some work and the economy sucks, etc.  Well…….it gets worse….much, much worse!

My hubby had to go to work on Thursday and he was not at all looking forward to it because he had to fire a bunch of people beneath him.  He hated doing it, but it was part of his job.  So then, when he was done, he got a call from his boss and HE WAS FIRED TOO!  In fact, they fired his whole department!  He was shocked!  I mean, what fuckers!  They had him do all their dirty work, then fired him and all his counterparts.  Why?  To save money.  FUCK G.W. BUSH and this FUCKING WAR!!!

Seriously.  So here we are.  2 kids and very little money.  Did we save for this eventuality?  Hell no.  We never saw it coming.  My hubby was upper, upper management (not upper enough apparently) and now he is gone and his department is gone - no severance, no insurance no nothing.  Illinois is an at-will state, and he was an at-will employee.  Now he is not an employee.  Sucks. 

I know we are by far not the only ones going through this.  It is happening all over the place.  It disgusts me.  So now what?  Health insurance, food stamps?  Burn through our savings to live until he finds a job in his field?  Uggghhh.  My head hurts!

It is true what they say, when it rains, it pours…and it is pouring shit right now!

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Feeling Blah….

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , on August 10, 2008 by mikayla1

I know that people come to my blog to hear about my latest fucking experience, to learn what toys and items I like or to just see what is new in the life of a sex toy reviewer.  Sorry to dissapoint you all, but I am feeling sort of ‘blah’ lately.  I have had some major life changes happen recently.  It seems as though the economy is tanking and it is effecting everyone in so many ways.  I lost a job - well, lost is not too accurate, I have been put on ‘hiatus.’  My hubby is being forced to do the job of 2 people to save money and he is traveling every week - which is putting a royal damper on my life (sex and otherwise).  My book publisher went bankrupt - yes, no book for me.  So now I have to find a new publisher.  Two of my good friends are moving out of state to find better jobs (or their hubby found a better job) and so that makes me sad.

Yes, I guess Blah is a good way to explain my life! 

On a highlight though, my littlest son is 1 today!!!  He had a nice party yesterday which was a lot of work, but a lot of fun overall.  I tell ya, if it wasn’t for my boys, I am not sure how I would make it!!!

So, thanks for tuning in - perhaps I will have something more exciting to write about soon.  I guess we just all have days when we feel melancholy - and now is my turn!

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Ohhh Sugasm…Do Me Good…..(142)

Posted in Sugasms with tags on August 1, 2008 by mikayla1

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #143? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Interludes - part 3
“He winds the rope around his hands, smoothing the kinks, and I stand there, breathing a little faster, conscious of all those eyes upon me.”

Hurts So Good
“I want you to wear the badges of sweet distress for days.”

Shower fantasy
“You don’t want to admit it, but you want me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Why I haven’t blogged about the Mosley case

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish
A bit of roleplay …
Bound, Pinched and Spanked
Club Visit, Part 1
The Coolest Bondage Fetish Edgeplay Picture Ever Taken
24/7 - Día Internacional del BDSM
Discoveries of the Domina
First Encounter: an unlikely meeting
Girls Boarding School updates. Hard Punishment
The Hottest Gas Mask Fetish Erotica I’ve Ever Read By Tina Peitsche
Leather Retreat 2008 – My Dolly
Masochism
Mr. Kink Plays With Thursday’s Child
My inner pain slut makes an appearance
Play time at Jules & Malycia’s
The Seduction of Daddy’s baby
Spanking Galleries: Punishment for pretty girl

Sex Work
A Stellar First Call

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Housewife on the Loose
Mz Berlin Is SICK! Unfair. New Fetish Movie With Jewell Marceau In My Clips Store
Nexus Vibro Review For Babeland
Ron Jeremy Reviews: The Max Hardcore Verdict
The World Erotic Art Museum (WEAM) and Lochai

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Carmine
Catalina loves Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes
Club Tantra: My Experience, Unabridged 3
Fiction: The Hotel, Part 2
Fiction: The Jet Setter, Part III of III
Getting to fuck the neighbor 18
Hunger
I Have a Crush
I worship your cock
A long wait
A Lovely Sexual Fantasy From A Very Special Friend
No reservations, part 5
Out of the woods - part III
The Point of Exhaustion
Popping My Cherry
Quiet as Kept
Receptacle For Your Love…
Video: Seducing a Girl (Complete)
Welcome Home

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Anna, Evi & Jula (Hegre-Art)
Brittany Fuchs
Cam2sex submits another free blowjob movie
CamWithHer blondie Elise shows round ass
Nude II
Showin’ a little ass -HNT

Sex Advice
Advice for Women on a Wife Led Marriage
Ask Miss Bliss-She leaves me tongue-tied
Going Green While Getting Down
How to have sex in a car

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Faking it
Fine Line Between Art and Porn Finer Than Ever
Half-Nekkid and Turning 40
It’s Good To Be Catalina
Love & Sex = Chemical?
Revelation
Still haven’t found what I’m looking for
“Stripper” or “Exotic Dancer?”
Why the deaf are probably great lovers

Sex Humor
How About Doing Something with that Unsightly Vagina of Yours
If Loving This Video Is Wrong, We Don’t Want to Be Right
My First Time (with a Home Pregnancy Test)

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Cock Explosion (Ejaculation Dildo - oh so cool)

Posted in reviews with tags on July 25, 2008 by mikayla1

OK, so my regulars (hey, I have regulars) know that I am a sex toy reviewer AND that I recently got a sexy shipment (see previous posts).  Well…..in that sexy shipment was the neatest toy I think I have seen in a long, long while - an EJACULATING DILDO!  Yep, you read right boys and girls - this toy not only fucks you good but it will cum on you too (and unlike a real man, you can store it under your bed) !  Can’t beat that with a stick can ya?

I have been very, very remiss in posting links to my latest toy reviews (bad Mikayla…bad, bad…I need a spanking, do I have volunteers???) Oh where was I?  Oh yeah, so I have been remiss in posting my reviews so I thought it time I post a new on and give it a place of honor as a post instead of a page! 

So, here is a pic of our new friend, Fred the Wonder Schlong just lying there on our bed, looking all lonely and stuff, waiting for me to pick him up and love him…..I am not sure if you can see it in the picture, but the base is bulbous (round) sort of like a turkey baster bottom - and that is EXACTLY what it is!  If you remove the bottom you get a teeny, tiny turkey baster attachment! 

It has already been suggested to me that I use this bad boy as my turkey baster on Thanksgiving!  Hey Mom and Dad, look what I am basting your turkey with this year…yummmyyyy.  That would be a hoot and a holler, but I think I will keep the Wonder Scholong for personal use!  OK, so on to the ‘review’ of this item.

This realistic dong does everything but your laundry!  Then again, what MAN does laundry?  He is 8 inches of penetrating fun, is realistically designed with veins and a circumcised head, and he will fill you up nicely at 1 and 1′/2 inches in girth.  Plus, it will cum in you.  Yes, yes it will.  The cum will be an artificial substance, but it makes for a nice time anyway!

So, my hubby wanted to help me use this item - all ‘fantasy threesome here we come.’ We decided that lotion would be the way to go for an ejaculate (can’t swallow it, but it would look nice and moisturize my skin too!)  We filled up the little chamber (which was easy actually) and I began by giving Freddie a nice BJ.  This toy tasted rather ‘toy-ish’ so that didn’t last long.  We moved on to penetration and my hubby pretended that I was getting banged by another man - which always gets him super hot!  I pumped Freddy in and out of my snatch feeling him hittng me inside hard. (the only bad thing about this fantasy is that guy #2 doesn’t do his share of the ‘work’).  This toy was nice and filling and with my little mini-bullet I had many orgasms.  Soon my hubby began to help me pump myself as he turned around for me to suck him off (no bad taste on him - lucky hubby!)

When it was time for the ‘money shot’ I got into position and began to pump on Freddy’s bulbous balls (or should I say ball) and squeezed, and squeezed and finally out came the lotion squirt onto my face and tits.  It was very amusing.  We continued our night with me getting fucked by my REAL wonder scholong. 

This toy was great for the fantasy - and the money shot was hilarious!  My hubby loves to watch me masturbate with any toy - and realistic dicks turn him on a lot.  This one felt OK inside - not totally realistic - but not bad.  The ejaculation part of this toy is what makes it fun.

We also had quite a bit of fun cleaning him up.  We filled it with water to clean him out and then I stood over the toilet and imagined myself peeing.  It was too funny!  ‘Hey honey, look, I am peeing standing up!’  Big laughs!  Below is a picture of the water shooting all over while I cleaned Freddy.  Bad Freddy, got some on the toilet seat AND the wall!  All in all this toy was loads of fun - and definitely gets the award for most ingenius toy I have seen in a while!

 

 

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