wickedbed

OK, so my regulars (hey, I have regulars) know that I am a sex toy reviewer AND that I recently got a sexy shipment (see previous posts).  Well…..in that sexy shipment was the neatest toy I think I have seen in a long, long while - an EJACULATING DILDO!  Yep, you read right boys and girls - this toy not only fucks you good but it will cum on you too (and unlike a real man, you can store it under your bed) !  Can’t beat that with a stick can ya?

I have been very, very remiss in posting links to my latest toy reviews (bad Mikayla…bad, bad…I need a spanking, do I have volunteers???) Oh where was I?  Oh yeah, so I have been remiss in posting my reviews so I thought it time I post a new on and give it a place of honor as a post instead of a page! 

So, here is a pic of our new friend, Fred the Wonder Schlong just lying there on our bed, looking all lonely and stuff, waiting for me to pick him up and love him…..I am not sure if you can see it in the picture, but the base is bulbous (round) sort of like a turkey baster bottom - and that is EXACTLY what it is!  If you remove the bottom you get a teeny, tiny turkey baster attachment! 

It has already been suggested to me that I use this bad boy as my turkey baster on Thanksgiving!  Hey Mom and Dad, look what I am basting your turkey with this year…yummmyyyy.  That would be a hoot and a holler, but I think I will keep the Wonder Scholong for personal use!  OK, so on to the ‘review’ of this item.

This realistic dong does everything but your laundry!  Then again, what MAN does laundry?  He is 8 inches of penetrating fun, is realistically designed with veins and a circumcised head, and he will fill you up nicely at 1 and 1′/2 inches in girth.  Plus, it will cum in you.  Yes, yes it will.  The cum will be an artificial substance, but it makes for a nice time anyway!

So, my hubby wanted to help me use this item - all ‘fantasy threesome here we come.’ We decided that lotion would be the way to go for an ejaculate (can’t swallow it, but it would look nice and moisturize my skin too!)  We filled up the little chamber (which was easy actually) and I began by giving Freddie a nice BJ.  This toy tasted rather ‘toy-ish’ so that didn’t last long.  We moved on to penetration and my hubby pretended that I was getting banged by another man - which always gets him super hot!  I pumped Freddy in and out of my snatch feeling him hittng me inside hard. (the only bad thing about this fantasy is that guy #2 doesn’t do his share of the ‘work’).  This toy was nice and filling and with my little mini-bullet I had many orgasms.  Soon my hubby began to help me pump myself as he turned around for me to suck him off (no bad taste on him - lucky hubby!)

When it was time for the ‘money shot’ I got into position and began to pump on Freddy’s bulbous balls (or should I say ball) and squeezed, and squeezed and finally out came the lotion squirt onto my face and tits.  It was very amusing.  We continued our night with me getting fucked by my REAL wonder scholong. 

This toy was great for the fantasy - and the money shot was hilarious!  My hubby loves to watch me masturbate with any toy - and realistic dicks turn him on a lot.  This one felt OK inside - not totally realistic - but not bad.  The ejaculation part of this toy is what makes it fun.

We also had quite a bit of fun cleaning him up.  We filled it with water to clean him out and then I stood over the toilet and imagined myself peeing.  It was too funny!  ‘Hey honey, look, I am peeing standing up!’  Big laughs!  Below is a picture of the water shooting all over while I cleaned Freddy.  Bad Freddy, got some on the toilet seat AND the wall!  All in all this toy was loads of fun - and definitely gets the award for most ingenius toy I have seen in a while!