Archive for weekend

Too Busy For Sex? Blame Bush

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , , , on June 12, 2008 by mikayla1

 

OK, so I am sure my regular readers have noticed that I have not posted since Monday.  Why?  Well, I am busier than a Bee and don’t want to work anymore!  Oh sure, I know everyone HAS to work, and my job with TooTimid is fun, my teaching job - also fun.  However, picking up the slack while my hubby works 60-80 hours a WEEK and watching my nephew while my bro does the same is exhausting! 

You may be asking yourself, ‘your title mentions being too busy for sex, is that true?’  Well, yeah, sort of.  I mean, we usually try to have some sort of sex every day. Quickies, oral fests, masturbation nights, sex toy review nights, etc.  However, when my man leaves the house at 7:30 am and returns at 7:00 pm, it just isn’t gonna happen.  Such has been our fate the last few nights.

Oh, I have had solo time - I HAVE to have some relaxation somewhere.  Also, I gave him a blowjob the other morning to start his day with a smile.  As for SEX - all naked, foreplay, toys, fun fucking…nope, haven’t had the time.  This discourages me, frankly, because I ALWAYS make time for sex.  I always believed that sex was a stress reliever and necessary for a harmonious life.  Well, I still believe that, but my hubby’s penis doesn’t.  When he gets THIS tired, and he gets THIS stressed - what happens?  The little (OK, GIGANTIC) bugger won’t go up -not even when I say PllllEEEaaaasssee!  That makes both of us upset.

Who do I blame for this catastrophe of epic sexual proportions?  George W. Bush, of course!  He had so damaged our economy and has not done a damn thing except sent us a 1800 check - that he is the reason my sex life has been put on the back burner.  With companies restructuring, someone has to take the extra slack at the job.  This is what happened to my hubby.  They fired 3 people (thank the LORD it wasn’t him) and he has to pick up THEIR slack.  This means, more travel, more hours, more responsibility - without MORE pay!  ugggh.  George W has fucked us all up good.

At least the weekend is coming and I have a fantastic weekend of SEX and relaxation and SEX and resting and SEX and food planned.  I will get my hubby to unwind if it kills me!  We have a party and we are gonna drink, eat and then come home and FUCK and their ain’t a darn thing GWB can do about it!

We should truck on my fellow sexers - continue to be intimate in the face of the bad economy.  As I already pointed out, SEX IS FREE! 

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Have a WICKED WEEKEND

Posted in Ponderings.... with tags , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2008 by mikayla1

So here we are, Friday night and the weekend is officially beginning!  What am I gonna do?  Well, I have a few Miller Chills waiting for me in the refrigerator.  I am gonna warm up with those, go take a long, hot bath, put on some music, perfume, sexy lingerie and totally seduce my hubby!  Hey, we have to have a follow up to last nights fantastic fornication!

It is true…I am a sex addict. 

MY NAME IS MIKAYLA AND I AM A SEX ADDICT

There are worse things to be addicted to - Miller Chills for example.  Sex is not a bad thing to want and to crave - at least I don’t find it a problem.  It keeps me limber and young (ish).  I think sex should be more important to more married couples.  Do you know that after being married for 5 years the average time for sex is 20 minutes, with intercourse (that is when the penis is actually IN the vagina) only lasting 5 minutes!  Shaaaaa, like right!

It is true.  We married people are letting the single ones beat us in the sex department.  Remember when you were single and sex lasted for hours?  When every, single drop of sweat, semen and ejaculate (as in FEMALE ejaculate) was drained from your body?  When your body ached, your face hurt, you had that ‘just rode a horse all night’ feeling the next morning?  YEAH, now THAT is some good, old fashioned SEX.

I think we need to get back on our horses, we need to reclaim that hotness that we once had.  Why not?  What is the difference between US and THEM?  A piece of paper binding our financials together for eternity and giving our children a common name?  HELL NO!  We don’t need to take this standing up!  LIE DOWN and give your single counterparts a run for their money!  Have sex the way you did when you were 20!  Like you did before you had kids, a mortgage, car payment and a 6:00 am wake-up call for work.  Have sex like you mean it people!

That is what I am gonna do.  Reclaim my sexy self once again and have sex TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!!!

I leave it all up to you….are you with me?  Are you gonna just sit on your couch watching Ghost Whispereror are you gonna call out to GOD himself in ecstasy  as you ORGASM like you haven’t in years?  That’s right married people - let us be louder than every single couple on the planet - let us show them that we are NOT dead just MARRIED! 

Let us all have a WICKED WEEKEND!

 

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